After waiting and biting my nails on this, I think I can sweetten things up by giving music to the excellent gentlemen that command this forum so that they will answer my questions. You can sing it in the bathroom, to your wives or girlfriends, in front of tv, or just to yourselves. Given is, that it must be sang very quickly and manly. Please, be my guests. If you do not find the strenght (use the force, Luke...) in yourselves to do it, I kindly put two links below so taht you could enjoy it in the fine representation of others. And very spacely also.
The Major-General Song (with most interesting notations below for the more exquisitive)
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon(1) to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I 'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
(Chorus)
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse;
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse;
With many cheerful facts about the square of the
hypote- potenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous(2);
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
(Chorus)
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics(3), I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegaic(4) all the crimes of Heliogabalus(5)
In conics(6) I can floor peculiarities parabolous.
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows(7) and Zoffanies(7),
I know the coaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes(8),
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore(9).
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform(10),
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's(11) uniform;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
(Chorus)
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by 'mamelon'(12) and 'ravelin,'(12)
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties(13) and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by 'commissariat,'(14)
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery;
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee(15). -
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
(Chorus)
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
(1) Marathon - Ancient battle between the Greeks and the Persians. And later the idea and effort of a soldier would be used to create a sport challenge.
(2) Animalcule - a microscopic organism
(3) acrostic - a type of word puzzle
(4) elegiac - a classical verse form
(5) Heliogabalus - a corrupt Roman emperor
(6) conics - mathematics dealing with parabolic and hyperbolic curves.
(7) Dow, Zoffany - portraitists
(8) Aristophanes - ancient Greek playwright who parodied politicians as croaking frogs
(9) Pinafore - HMS Pinafore, Gilbert and Sullivan's earlier opera
(10) cuneiform - ancient writing made with wedges on clay tablets
(11) Caractacus - chief of the ancient Britons (who fought nude)
(12) mamelon, ravelin - features of Vaubain's famous fort design system
(13) sortie - a short military raid
(14) commissariat - the military branch in charge of food supplies
15) gee - a horse
If your excellencies aren't stunned enough, please proceed to the following links, in order presented please and then, return and answer "me" questions in the uppermost petition. (Singing) "I am the very model of a modern Major-General..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbQ-y589mx8